A year for self-discovery

2026-01-21

I have given up on New Year’s resolutions for many years because they never work for me. Often, they just invite more pressure onto my chest. There’s normally a significant gap between who I currently am and what I want to become.

I spent my first days of 2026 in Thailand’s countryside. One morning, a newsletter from Ness Labs arrived in my inbox. It wasn’t a typical “time to write your resolutions!” kind of post. Instead of imagining a rigid image of who I want to become and then having no practical plan, the article encouraged me to approach 2026 with curiosity with a set of questions.

The following is my take on these questions. I can fail and that’s fine. I have a full-time job which consumes most of my time already. So it’s certainly possible that life will get in the way. Posting this here in public is like ripping a scratch note from a random journal page and sticking it on the wall. In December, I will come back and see how it goes.

1. Learning: What skill or topic am I willing to look bad at while learning this year?

Mastering the guitar

Since my dad bought a guitar for my high school graduation, I’ve only learned it on the surface: basic strumming patterns and chords for popular songs. I avoided the hard stuff.

Last year, I randomly ran into a YouTube guitarist I’d been following for a long time at a coffee shop. I asked if he would give 1-on-1 lessons. His lessons unlocked a whole world beneath what I already knew. He made me believe that I could be a great guitarist without a background in music. This year, I’ll continue building up my foundation by following Scott Paul Johnson’s course. It’s been fascinating. My dream is playing in a band one day!

Becoming a better programmer

Lately, I’ve been curious about compilers and build systems. Although I’ve worked on build systems before, my focus in this space dwindled to a small percentage since I started my current job. Plus, I’ve spent some capacity doing management. I miss programming to solve hard problems…

I got hooked again last year when I ran across the Biome project. When I started, many terms in the repo flew over my head. As I aimed for more difficult bugs, I realized there’s a huge gap in my knowledge. It took me a while to navigate the codebase and understand how the building blocks work at the fundamental level. Someone shared a blog post about Crafting Interpreters in the Biome Discord, and that book has been a great source for learning the fundamentals. This year, I’ll keep doubling down on it and build the interpreter project that the book walks you through.

In between my readings, I want to get more involved in the open source ecosystem through projects like oxc, biome, e18e, or others I discover along the way. I’m starting with these, and I’ll follow where curiosity leads.

2. Who is the one person I want to get to know better?

I take lots of things for granted. I don’t want to regret the precious time I have every day with my spouse. I want to approach new days with a beginner’s mind, knowing there is always a lot for me to learn and understand from her. Once a month, I will carve out time for hand-written letters. At least once a week, I want to sit quietly for tea time with her. Daily nature walks are a tradition I want to keep doing for as long as I can.

3. What will I say no to every week this year to protect what matters most?

I’m setting a hard limit for bedtime and not violating it unless it’s absolutely necessary. Ironically, at this moment, I’m already failing this because I couldn’t stop trying to make this post “perfect”.

Having gone through some ups and downs, I’ve learned to value my mental and physical health more than ever.

This question is so meta. I’ll blog more often and dare to publish even when it’s “just 99.99% ready” Honestly, I initially hesitated publishing this post because there are many reasons to not do it: Who cares? It doesn’t help anybody to read my idealized year. Leaving all this up on the internet is vulnerable and scary for me. But that’s the whole point. I want to dare to do more of the very things that scare me but help me grow.

Besides that, I’m taking a sketching class on Saturday. I’ll also share guitar recordings with other people in the community of Scott Paul Johnson’s course.

5. What is a tiny experiment I will run this year?

Ever since my first job at McDonald’s in high school, my income has always come from paychecks. That means I’ve always worked for someone else. This year, I want to explore building something profitable on my own. It doesn’t have to be software and any revenue counts!